I am currently going through a very difficult stage in my parenting journey as a mother. I do not know what to do and to be honest, I feel so many emotions that I cannot work through alone.
My daughter turned 2 a month ago. She is me and my husband’s first child so I can safely say this is unchartered territory for us both and this here situation has exposed our rookie status. I had heard of Terrible Two’s long before she was born, having witnessed toddlers throw tantrums in public, with their parents seeming helpless and somewhat abused. But I had no idea that I could experience such and that I would be so affected.
Diary, let me explain the issues we have had to deal with for the past week. Our daughter has become extremely clingy towards her nanny and in her absence, towards me, her mother. She wants to be carried all the time, even for very short distances like the bed to the bathroom or a 1 metre distance from couch to couch. I cannot go to the bathroom without her and she expects to sit on my lap while I pee. If she doesn’t get her way, she screams like some creature that I cannot identify with- so shrill and loud that it feels like my eardrums are ringing.
When she wants something, and usually it is an unreasonable request like to place her Pizza in her juice bottle, she demands that it happens immediately. And when it doesn’t happen, she screams like that alien thingy does. When she is caught doing something wrong and calmly told to stop, she scrunches up her nose, closes her eyes and opens her mouth wider that a hungry croc- and you know what sounds follows.
An interesting phenomenon that I have observed is her ability to create tears in a matter of split seconds and in large volumes per minute. It is also important to mention that the same way that she can create them so fast, she can put an end to and dry up the Niagara Falls in record breaking time. If I didn’t know better I would nominate her for an Oscar (Best Leading Con Artist in a Real Life Situation).
I do not know what to do Diary, because what scares me, is the effect that her unruly behaviour has on me. I am almost always instantly overcome by anger. I feel frustrated and unstable. I feel abused. I feel trapped and guilty. I get so overwhelmed by her conduct and especially the ridiculous volume of her screaming and crying. I have to admit, I have contemplated smacking her bottom or her fingers but having done it once before, the guilt is too much to bear. I have tried the “lock her in a room for a bit while she calms down” method but again I am overcome by thoughts of guilt and disappointment in myself. I have tried to ignore her and allow her to cry it out but her screaming gets even worse.
Please help me because my daughter is currently serving as the biggest deterrent to my husband and me even considering having another child.
Mother of Alien Screaming 2 year old.