My husband and I were told by a Doctor that we’d never conceive naturally. We were devastated by the news because the truth is, all I wanted was to be a mom. Every part of me was ready for this next phase of my life and I knew that I was more ready than I could ever be.
We started making plans for IVF treatment in September the following year and for now, we thought we’d just put it out of our minds and enjoy the Christmas season. We hosted Christmas at our home and had a wonderful new years eve party at our house. All the while I kept putting my nausea down to over indulging. When I started experiencing more and more symptoms I decided it was time to take a test. To our absolute shock, it was positive. We struggled with believing it could actually have happened, I mean, a doctor had told us that it was “impossible.” Well, my beautiful son is proof that nothing in life is impossible.
In September 2015 I felt a pain in my stomach. There were still two weeks left before the baby was due so I put it down to Braxton Hicks. I got into a warm bath to try soothe the pain but after an hour of nothing changing, I had to admit this baby was on his way.
My husband rushed me to hospital and the pain just got more and more severe. At one point I was hanging onto the hand rest in the car just to eliminate the pain caused by every bump. I was rushed straight into the birthing room and hooked up to all sorts of cables to monitor the baby. The pain didn’t feel like I was expecting it to feel. It was one long pain. It didn’t come and go in waves, it just hurt. I was in tears.
When my baby started going into distress, they decided to rush me in for an emergency c-section. This hadn’t been a part of my birthing plan but I knew that all I cared about was that my baby lived.
A little while later, I was still lying on the table when I was handed this incredible little squishy human being. He was blue but perfect. When he stayed blue for a little longer than my liking I called the paediatrician over to have a look at his blue hands. She agreed that they didn’t look normal and took him for more tests. Turned out he had a collapsed lung and had to be rushed into NICU. My perfect little baby was put into an incubator.
For four days I walked up and down, in severe pain to see my little boy in his glass box. I got to hold him again days later. He was tiny and he was perfect and I felt like I was missing out on a really vital part of his life but what mattered was that he was getting better. On the fourth day I was discharged from the hospital but I couldn’t believe that the level of pain I was in was normal. I refused to leave until a doctor had listened to me and checked on me.
When my gynaecologist failed to figure out what was wrong with me, she called in a surgeon. He diagnosed me immediately. I had a burst appendix. I was rushed into emergency surgery within the hour. I was opened up and my appendix, or what was left of it, was removed. I woke up in ICU with sepsis. My body had slowly been getting more and more sick over the last four days. Turns out, my appendix bursting had triggered my labour. It had burst before my baby was delivered.
Two days later, I was scheduled to go back in for a “general rinse” where they would just clean out where my appendix had been except when they opened me up, my entire body was a mess. It turned out, my colon had ruptured while I was giving birth. I had undiagnosed endometriosis and my uterus had been fused to my colon which had then been ripped open during child-birth. It wasn’t good. The doctors weren’t prepared for such a mess. I was put into an induced coma to give my body time to heal. Luckily for me, this story has a happy ending. It nearly didn’t.
In the space of 8 months, I had 6 surgeries. I had to have a colostomy which I woke up with from my coma and I spent almost a full month in hospital during the first month of my child’s life. I had all kinds of complications and it was a tough start to motherhood but just over a year later, I am thankful. I am alive and I am healed and I no longer have a colostomy. I was given my life back. I fought the hardest battle of my life and I beat death. If things had gone a little bit differently, I might have died and my son might not have ever known me. Instead, I look at his face and I am amazed every single day of what the body is capable of. I know I was lucky but the truth is, I’d do it all over again for this beautiful child of mine. He is worth everything I’ve been through. He is everything to me.
Sometimes we don’t look at the good that comes from our bad experiences. I’ve learnt so much from this. I’ve learnt that I’m a fighter and that I’m capable of anything. I’ve learnt that friends and family carry you when you can’t carry yourself but mostly, I’ve learnt that nothing is more powerful than a mothers love.
Jonelle is the Blog Author of Tyranny of Pink, click here to read from her on her amazing blog. To follow her socially –